There is a cost of being a father figure to a child or children that is not yours. My father is gone out of my family’s life. So I’m a father figure for my 3 siblings in addition to being a stable father figure for my 3 future step children. It gets pretty hard considering I have all them looking up to me to be an example for them. With my siblings I have to bounce back and forth from being the father figure to being just big brother, so it gets a little confusing from time to time. With my girlfriend’s kids, their father is more self centered. He doesn’t answer the kid’s questions when they ask and he shows no respect to the people in his life that deserve it. I’ve been trying to push it their heads that respect between people helps society be peaceful. These kids aren’t use to someone who works every day, goes to school, and no matter how tired I am I play with them. With all these kids I don’t do anything that is lacking morals. I try to tell them to stand for what they have conviction for and don’t let anyone make them feel like they are less than what they are. I do have problems with my girlfriend’s son because he adores his father and I’m just the other guy. So with him I have to be tactful on making sure I don’t ruin his image of his dad, but yet making sure he gets good positive reinforcements on behavior. I know eventually I’m going to hear those infamous words from step kids “You’re not my father, stop acting like it”. With my siblings, I get to step out of this father figure role very soon and then I’m just the brother. I hope I pass something good to each one of these kids.
I am very glad you are involved with you step children! I know it must be difficult to be a step-parent, but it sounds like you love them and only want the best for them. The kids will recognize this one day. My husband is a step parent to my oldest child and it gets rough sometimes, but at the end of the day all is well!
ReplyDeleteI find it amazing that people such as yourself are able to balance between being a father and a brother to so many. I have friends that dislike their step parents, and those who love their step parents and don't get as much support from their biological parents. Therefore, I think it is highly important that kids have someone to look up to, someone for inspiration. I really liked this blog!
ReplyDeleteI have a deep respect for men who consciously take their role seriously. Nothing makes a man more manly than being the father in a child's life. Enjoying these blogs.
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